'Cause you're shivering cold.

Once we watched August Rush past midnight with mom and dad. Chloe and I. We laid blankets on the floor and stayed up late. Eleven was late. I had to babysit the next morning. I don't know if I should stay up this late, I said to mom and dad. We understand, they said, but they encouraged me to watch anyways. It's not that late, they said. How many nights like this will we have, they said, and now looking back, my heart races. What if. But I watched. There was one sex scene and Chloe and I were just newly initiated into the reality of what that meant. We looked away, embarrassed watching with our parents two people make love. There were blankets, you couldn't see anything. Still. At eleven, dad said, hey, what if we order a pizza. Imagine that. These were the days before celiac disease, perhaps before Sam was born. We were carefree, because we didn't believe anything could touch us. Dad ordered pizza from Dominos, I think when Evan (August) listened to the music of the fields. Mom and Dad were happy, I remember, and I remember feeling so happy, I remember brimming until I feared I'd collapse. My whole body screamed in fear of keeping this moment good. We ate green olive and canadian bacon pizza on pink and blue plastic plates while watching August Rush. That was a good movie, mom said when it was over. She liked the music. Dad liked the story. She sat by dad. They went to bed together. I told Sheila the next morning that I had stayed up until one watching a movie with my parents. I remember this, listening to the soundtrack on my grandma's couch. My skin cracks anew. One sone in particular rips off my bandages without warning. If I close my eyes, I see the warmth of that night, the bubble that surrounded us amid darkness.

So long you've been running in circles
'Round what's at stake
But now the times come for your feet to stand still in one place
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head's wrapped around what's around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm

'Cause you're shivering cold

It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on